I am so far behind...

So, lots to catch up on for sure. I am refeincing to my last post to see whats new and changed. I ended up coming out of retirement for a couple months of playing Warcraft, and it was fun and whatnot, but I started falling back into the up all night, just a little more gold, one more quest, one more boss...and it just drew me away again. My friends in game always saying hey you have to get this axe, or this sword, this pice of armor...and I was like no, I DON'T!! So, I hadn't played more than a few days this month, and I canceled my account and uninstalled the program. So, back to the drawing board Haha.

First weekend in September, I took a little vacay to Jacksonville Beach, Florida. It was absolutely amazing! I have to thank Miss Fish openly, once more for being such a good friend/host while I was down there.

Saw the beach, went to St. Petersburg and did some sightseeing and all sorts of great things. Was way too fucking hot, but I managed anyway :)





I am still having problems balancing my fit life and my school life. It seems like all I do on the days I don't have to sub is I just read books, magazines, and the internet all day about recipes, food, supplements, workouts, everything. I go to class, and I take dilligent notes (almost 50 pages so far) but I need to study. I used to be so studious and I need to fall back into that, and also get to busting my ass for thesis.

Speaking of school. I dropped an independent study I was in, because I didn't really need it. Well that started an avalanche. Turns out I need to file a petition to drop it because it was on my grad plan, and it's funny because I had to petition to take it, now I have to do it to drop it. I withdrew from it just fine online, but I need to do the paperwork for it. Also, I am no longer considered a full time student, cause loan agencies don't consider INC hours as being still enrolled, its just a pain. I just want to finish this class so I can get an A, and destroy my thesis so I can be done.

Couple weeks ago I took another trip to Baltimore, Maryland to see my very good friend the Sox Nurse. I also met up with Miss LJ and her husband Hef while there, and they are such amazing people. I would love to live down in that area one day. The place we had dinner reminded me of a but nicer Champaign, Illinois, and it was just so great. Baltimore was amazing, and I saw so much stuff. See my facebook page for more pictures. If you've stumbled across this page and want to see, leave a post and I will send you the link. I actually had the chance to eat at a place that was on the foodnetwork! Never mind the people there are a bit off and one gal thinks Obama is a Muslim and is going to destroy America. I wanted to cry into my sandwich. Speaking of, here it is to the right. A lovely mess of Sausage, Pit Beef, and Corned beef. Weight loss be damned for this meal. Got a very nice tour of the Capitol from my Senators office, got to see the House Gallery, I felt like a kid in a candy store the whole time in D.C. On the way down, however, we encountered a problem. We lost an engine and had to make an emergency landing in St. Louis. No biggie really, we were there for maybe 20 minutes and I was back on a plane for Atlanta. However, when I got home I see I got a letter from the company. Thinking it was some kind of deal or 'special offer' I was about to pitch it when Mom said I should open it. I did, to which I found an apology letter and a voucher for a free round trip to any destination they fly to. Ya-hoo! Bahamas anyone?


I also want to take a minute to mention a friend of mine. I have mentioned her on my private journal, but not here. I call her my grown up friend, even though she is younger than me. She is the one I have the real world talks with. She really inspires me in ways she doesn't even know. We've known each other for about 3 or 4 years now, and I always want to impress her in a way, so I guess she challenges me to better myself in many ways, and I thank her for that. If you happen to read this Susie, thank you for everything :) And I really can't wait to shed so much of this weight so when we get our pictures taken together at graduation, I want to really look great standing with you :)

Subbing is amazing. I love working with the kids, and I know I should have gone into that in college instead. I know I could get a teacher certificate but I want to be done in May, and it's..just really starting to tear at my insides. I know there is alot of politics with the job, and I don't know how well I would really like it. I mean, I love going in, doing the lessons, and going home. I don't know if I could do all the other prep work, grading, and the like. I may talk to a councilor about what I would need to do to get the teacher certificate, who knows.

Thanksgiving went very well, even though about an hour before we were supposed to eat we are told we are now having 14, instead of 8. However dad and I got it together and still ended up with a ton of leftovers..which are killing all willpower I have built up recently. I need to keep it up though, especially if I want to look good in the Bahamas.

On moving, living, and retirement.

So, I will cliff note this for my few select followers:

-WIU things went sideways
-Decided to move back home for my last bit of graduate school
-Informed work of my intent
-Found people to take over my lease
-Moved home
-Unpacked

There, your all caught up!

Living back at home, so far, hasn't been to horrible at all. I got my Y membership right away so being able to get back into working out has been great for me. I took more time away from it than I would like to admit last month with the packing and the moving and work stress and such. It is going to take some getting used to not having all the greatness of the WIU rec right next to me, but it will work out just fine. I went through my first round of weight loss here, and I can do it again.

I am trying to look into how much new free wieghts would cost, and maybe organizing a fund raiser to help out the Y order some. You would think that since the director of the Y's son is in the NFL he would be willing to help his community...or not. However, and I digress for a moment, I did see him on a billboard coming back from Peoria today for one of the rehab centers in town....torn up shirt and jeans, hair over his eyes. Yeah, great role model there kids!

Back to being at home; I am really happy, and I feel amazing. It may be the influx of having access to a decent kitchen and grill (I am averaging about 4 servings of veggies and 3-4 of fruit a day now). Dad and I are actually getting along great. Don't get me wrong, I love my Dad, he has always been there for me, but he and I can argue with the worst because we are truly so much alike. Mom's center is going well, the open house is Sunday, I will hopefully post pictures from that as well.

I need to get going on my thesis, like, right fucking STAT now. I was so motivated for that, now it seems all my motivation is on working out and my diet and weight loss to get in shape for a job or Navy OCS, and I am having a difficult time balancing the two. I am thinking about talking to a councilor about it once school starts back up.

Speaking of school, classes start Monday. I have my one night a week class on Tuesdays, which I am really looking forward to. Ethics in CJ is the class, and it is one of my favorite topics in LEJA. Also, it is taught by my thesis committee chair/a guy my Mom went to high school with/the guy whos land I camped on when I was in Boy Scouts/has known me my whole life/etc. I am also enrolled in an independent study with the department chair. Now here is where my stomach starts to turn. I enrolled in it strictly because I needed 6 hours to keep my G.A. position. Well, since that is no longer an issue I was contemplating dropping it. However, he told me when we spoke about the course that we would just use chapters one and two of my thesis as my ind. study, no sense in having me do a ton of extra work he said. Now, while I have all intent of finishing my thesis this fall and graduating, what happens if I don't, or I am still not physically ready for a job or even able to find one? I have until May 2010 to finish my thesis, but I don't know what is going to happen between now and then. Also, it will be the first time I have never been a full time student, and I need to call the university and find out what this means for me (do I have to start paying loans back in six months? Do I still have insurance? Can I use the buses on campus? etc.)

I digressed again, that has been plaguing my mind for quite some time, wanted to get it out.

I visited M in Indiana a couple weeks, ago, and absolutely fell in love with it there. We went to this amazing outdoor market, shopping, around the town...words really cannot express how much I hope their PD tests soon because it is such a great area.

Now, onto what I meant by, on retirement. Last week was Geordi's birthday, so we went to Flat-Top and a movie with his brother and then hung out the following night watching some old Scout videos his dad took. Before we went out to the movies, his brother was playing some World of Warcraft and I just kinda watched and thought about playing again. Now, mind you I checked my online account info with them last week, and it said my last login was on Sept 28th, 2008.

I haven't played in almost a year, nor did I get the big expansion pack, so I am behind everyone else in the game by 8 months at the least. Also, once I hit level 70 before I quit, I was never a serious raider because I didnt have the time to devote to it, and everyone I knew and my guild were way more advanced than I was. It was just a fun thing for me to do.

Granted I quit primarily due to finding out a woman I was romantically and emotionally involved with in real life who I met online through this actually turned out to be married, making me upset on so many levels, etc etc. Also, knowing I need to devote all time to thesis as previously noted, it would take me so much time for me to re-learn everything, do the instances, re do all of my add ons and everything, and its just not worth it.




However, I can't help but enjoy it. For those of you who don't know me, or have not somehow already figured out yet, I am a huge geek, and I am proud of it. I grew up with Star Trek and Jean-Luc Picard, Star Wars, Sci-Fi, War of the Worlds, I love Lord of the Rings, and fantasy, etc. However, I have never dressed up, gone to a CON, played tabletop D and D, or Magic or any of the other card games. I just love being able to step away for a little bit, and forget about the problems, maybe just be someone else for a little while. For me, it was being a dwarf. Hearty folk who love the snow and beer. It's me in a nutshell, Really!! Oh well, maybe I can find some nice gamer girl and our Christmas cards can be us in Alliance sweatshirts or something.

Oh and I have been working on this post for a couple hours now with many breaks for various things, so I am going to wrap it up here.

Finally.....serenity

So, yes, the updates haven't happened. Such is life, moving on. Summer is here, and it is very welcome with open arms. The end of the year finished well, graduations and people moving was a downer, but it all is for the best.

Lots happening in L.E. news. Most notably, several hits to the department where I interned my senior year of college. One officer on leave for DUI, one fired for sexual misconduct, and three under indictment for brutality following a chase of a suspect. These were all good officers that I knew on a professional level, and this just further destroys the blue wall, and makes a bad name for L.E. officers.

In other current event type things, this has got to be one of the biggest summer movie years of all time. Something for EVERYONE! Star Trek, Up, X-Men, Terminator 3, Harry Potter, this summer has it all!

So far I have seen X-Men Origins, Star Trek, and Angels and Demons. All three were great, but so far Star Trek comes in well ahead of everything.

I cannot say enough about it, the plot, effects, storyline, and MOST of all, the casting was absolutely perfect. Chris Pine plays the cocky young Kirk, but with a twist: he gets his ass kicked in every fight. A far cry from the shirtless Shatner of my parents era. Zac Quinto was exceptionally believable as a young, inwardly tortured Spock. Then came what was the best part of the movie for me: Karl Urban ad Lenoard "Bones" McCoy. I don't think I have ever been more sold for any character than I was with this. From the first rant he goes off on about his wife taking "the whole damn planet" to the actual slapstic brotherly comedy with Chris Pine. I need to stop here or else I will be up writing all night long!

Angels and Demons was decent, the completely twisted the opening bit, I won't give spoliers, but while they got key things in the broad strokes, they essentially ignored the first 35 chapters almost.

I am going to be spending so much money this summer on movies it isn't even funny. PLUS, there is going to be a brand, new, movie theatre in Macomb! The Rialto is set to open June 5th, just in time for the eager movie-goers of Macomb (most notebly myself) to escape the sweltering summer sun for a movie, and escape reality for just a little bit. The best part is the manager at the current cinema 1 and 2, got hired at this one and is bringing the independent film series with him. As for the current building, the university will take it over and turn it into something. Hopefully they may turn it into the WIU theater. The current one is a joke...they use a classroom projector for the shows, just awful.

In academic news: I have a 0.000 GPA! Let me explain. 1. I withdrew from a Con Law course which would have been the end of me as the cases I have briefed coutnless times before were apparently wrong along with all the other students in the class. Also, I enrolled in thesis research and purposal, which I have not completed. However, I cannot technically re-enroll in them, so I had to take an 'I' for them. Chapters 1 and 2 are shaping up nicely, I am going to be in the library quite a bit looking over some previous thesis on community policing. I came across a thesis which was a survey about student satisfaction with WIU OPS in 2004. The survey return was pitiful. Out of 600 only near 50 were sent back, seriously, should have at least tripled your mailing list. I know he feared having too much to work with and enter, but these are students you mailed surveys to in the dorms, of course they wouldnt send them back to you. Have professors distribute them, AND mail them out. You get a wider survey base! However, they did have really fantastic resources on history of campus policing, which I am going to have to use in mine.

Finess stories: lost 10 pounds last month, about ran around the locker room flipping out with excietment. I meet with the trainer next week for the first time in a while due to school conflicts and such. I ran into him the other day as we live in the same apt complex and he was really impressed with seeing me out walking, or seeing me at the rec, and is really glad I am such an enthuastic client. Long ways to go still, very long ways, but I can feel the changes inside. I can sleep whenever I want to at night (usually 1o or so), I have the energy, and am just overall happier.

I think that is about it for this post, but here is a lovely pic of WIU's mall, with no students...oh thank you god for summer!!

Dropped classes, running into ex's, movies, and old friends..

Title pretty much sums up the past week and a half for the most part. Starting with my academic life, I ended up having to drop a class. Well, my only class for that matter. Con Law with Liza had become a chore and a task beyond what I was willing to put into it. The course material, more specifically the cases to brief I had already briefed in three other classes, so I knew them like the back of my hand. However, I could never (as well as the rest of the class) do any better than 7 0r 8 points out of 10. Then, after having drawn up my paper proposal, outline, and sources (that alone was 4 pages when the paper had to be 15), she pretty much cuts down almost everyone for it not being good enough, or us being able to determine what a 'scholarly' source is. That, is what broke my back. I dropped it over break with zero hesitation. I thought back on it however, and after all of my education this was the ONLY course I had ever dropped, so I think that's a pretty good record (over at least 200 credit hours to 3).

Tuesdays are bowling nights for me. Yes, I bowl. Most families will put their kids in band or sports, and if its sports they will most likly push them HARD in football, basketball, etc. My family (rather Mom's), was bowling. Grandpa, Grandma, Aunts, Uncles, Mom, Dad, everyone bowls. Hell, Mom and Dad even met when my Mom was working in a bar at a bowling alley. Growing up, the family bowled on Friday nights, and I was right back on Saturday morning for YABA. Anyhow, Me, The Roomie, Boo, and Tall J are all on a team for inturmurals. While there, my ex, the catcher was there a few alleys down with her new bf. Long story short, she was my big college girlfriend. We practically lived together, we talked about getting married, and even with her puppy we had our own little 'family'. We prolly hadn't talked in person in more than two years probably. While I initally got a sick feeling like no other, I decided to be diplomatic and chatted with her when she was talking to Boo. It was nice, apparently she is back here for her Masters also, go figure. After the chat, I didn't feel so sick.

I am not so sure anything major happened Wednesday or Thursday, so I will omit those and move to Friday.

The roomie and I hosted a retro night. We had old school video games, catch phrase, board games, and all. It was a really good time, I got to smoke some new pipe tobacco with Hot Fuzz, which was always good. Last call was about 2am for me, and I was beat.

Saturday, I drove to Peoria in the pouring rain to meet with Geordi and the Duke for dinner and a movie. I picked up a couple things for myself: new belt, socks, some really nice Calvin Klien t-shirts, and a fantastic Ralph Lauren dress shirt. I had forgotten how good the feel of a new, fresh dress shirt can feel. Also, when you buy one thats not in the size you want, it's even more motivation to lose the weight.

I also picked up this fun book: Eat This not That: A Guide to the Supermarket at B&N. It is fantastic! I will let you go through the amazon page for yourself because I do not have the time or energy to devote an entire post to the book.

Seeing the guys was really good for me, Old Chicago was great, I Love You Man was absolutely hilarious, and then I had to drive back in the weather. It was pouring down rain all the way to Good Hope (about an hour and 15 minutes) and then the next 20-25 to Macomb was freezing horrbile rain.

Waking up for work on Sunday morning was a shock...to see a couple inches of snow that is. Yes, it went from shorts and t-shirt last week to a couple inches of snow on Sunday. However, by the time I had worked 3 hours in the office, it had all melted. Go figure.

Other than that it pretty much brings me up to now. I've been getting my good ultra health food from the net and enjoying that. Also had a fantastic grocery store trip, so good, when I ran into my boss, she called me a certifiable health nut. That's a good feeling. While I don't look my new-old self (from the first time I was lean), I am starting to feel it again. I can feel myself make the food like I used to. Sweat the same, have that feeling when I leave the gym and feel good about myself. Which I think is a great start.

Meeting with the personal trainer tomorrow, and I hope some progress has been made! I have been kicking up my workouts and managing between 1,600 to 1,800 calories so I am hoping for some big losses this week. If not, well I have to kick it up more and maybe go to 1,500.

One of the bosses is gone this week, so I am really looking foreward to work tomorrow and Friday, mostly because I only have 3 hours both days.

I've rambled enough, below is a video of my music at the moment: Oceanlab- On a Good Day.

The only bad thing I will say about Spring.

So, it may be because of the Spring warmth, or it may be because I watched a Star Trek: The Next Generation where Riker has to relive some of his most painful memories to stay alive. The past four days or so I have been either reminiscing about my past, or having very vivid dreams about it. But not just good and bad times, or times I was a kid, or things from my recent past...but it seems more and more all I can think about is the summers between my senior year of high school through the summer before my junior year of college. Certain things can spark it or it will just come to me in a dream...and I cannot explain why.

I attribute some of it to talking to my friend M the other night. Everything from running, movies, politics, hometown gossip, Star Trek, everything. For some reason whenever I talk to her, or something reminds me of her, my mind goes to care-free summers of sleeping late and having a feeling of immortality. Summers of watching James Bond movies, late drives with the Cardinal, Duke, Geordi, Sporty, Two-letter and others. Ripping off pizza places with coupons that don't exist, having Semper sneak booze over to my place for the first time. It's one of the most interesting effects anyone has on me. She's a very good friend and I don't tell her that often enough. We have this kind of, almost adult slapstick sense of humor together, and I think she knows more about me and what I am thinking than most other people, which is interesting as I don't think we have seen one another for more than a lunch or coffee in more than a couple years. I just want to feel young again, and I am only 23. Maybe I just miss summers. Maybe I just miss memories if that's possible. As I write this, I now realize she is a friend who reminds me of a season of growth, warmth, and fun. Pretty much her personality in a nutshell, and I hope she realizes how much it means to me.

As I think more, some of my closest friends remind me of broader things...not just the specific memories I have with them. Lord knows there are millions of moments between Geordi, the Duke, and myself. I actually think it could be a best seller if we were to publish our memoirs. When I think of those guys I am reminded of ideas of being trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent.

I realize this is becoming very philosophical, and if your sick of it, well too bad.

As for the dreams....I have been reliving moments from the time period I mentioned previously. Parties, moments, dinners, lunches, coffees, movies, adventures, trips, everything. Nothing different either as some dreams can be, but total, complete reliving those moments. I know it is getting to me now..but I am sure after the next week or so, it will wear off but I am sure I will miss it when I do.

I wonder what things I will think of a few years from now. All my crazy college nights with Lala, Ben Franklin, and so many others I cannot think to give clever pseudo-names to. Nights of singing, keg-standing, shots, circle of death, inebriated 'hook ups', and the other cliched moments of college life. Or maybe the nights when the History Boy and I just drank beer and ate goldfish and cheeze-its, respectively, and play the same damn video game for almost a month solid on Friday nights, only to wake up early the next day to write papers and bust our humps in classes.

Maybe I am so occupied with thinking about my best moments of my past because I am so concerned with my present and immediate future. I am unsure about my contract being renewed, and it weighs on me every single day. One boss will do just about anything to make sure I stay there, and why shouldn't he? I am a hard worker, take the initiative, am prompt, always willing to fill in during a tight spot, come in early and stay late if need be. However with the other, it seems for every three steps forward, one tiny thing sets me back a mile, I just cannot win. The thesis is taking a bit longer than I thought, so I am going to purpose it in the fall, and get my hood in December, and hopefully will have found a P.D. that wants me, or get my acceptance to the Navy OS. This is what keeps me up at night, am I going to be here with my contract and living in the Mac, or move back with my folks, be Mr. J Substitute 4 days a week, and write my thesis at home? I have earned two Bachelors Degrees, I am writing my thesis. I have met Presidents, foreign dignitaries, I have saved a life, I have saved my own life. I have help arrest dope dealers, child molesters, wife and husband beaters, murderers and rapists. I am only 23, and I feel as though I have accomplished nothing with my life at times. No offence to my family, but I have achieved more than most of them, and they are so proud of me and love me so much, but I still feel at times I have done nothing with my life.

Looking back at this post, I know much of it sounds negative, but at the moment I am in a very good mood. My friends are either back or are coming back from break. The roommate got some cool video game system that we can play regular Nintendo, Super, and Sega games on one unit. It apparently has Mortal Kombat and Super Mario 3 among others pre-installed. I am going to do nothing for the rest of this semester. I got to talk to Lala tonight which always makes me feel better, and I am supposed to be getting a a BoSox hat from the RN in a couple of weeks.

I am heading down to see Geordi this upcoming weekend which I am really looking forward to getting of out dodge for a while. I know going to see my folks is a quick escape but I still feel trapped by school and work because its only 35 minutes away from me. However, I just found out the Duke is coming up to stay with his folks for a job interview, which puts this all in a predicament. I think the last time the three of us were all together was...wow more than a year at least.

Also, I have just started training for a 5k which is a really new experience for me. Even when I was in my peak physical shape I never was much of a runner, but now I am starting to enjoy it. I say that now, but at 5am tomorrow and around whatever time I am clicking through my first mile I will be cursing and saying forget this. But I will keep going, learning how to breathe through it, and keeping a smile on my face. And yes, I am talking about more than just my running. Yeah...check out that bit of metaphor!

Current music: Jai Ho- A R Rahman from the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack.

In the beginning...there was.....a new explanation

So, before eyebrows are raised, yes this is a new blog. I did have another one with around 3 entries, but after converting to Gmail, it makes everything more steamline for all of my net useage, including blogging.

Thus, for those of you who are finding this, or my LJ friends who I have directed here, here is what I am about:

-I am 23 year old grad student in the field of criminal justice writing my thesis on campus policing in Illinois

-I am a left leaning individual, while I will not really discuss politics, I apologize if I do and my bias comes through.

-Though when I do comment on criminal justice issues, they will be from the position of me as a student of the academic field, not my liberal side.

-This will be my personal and observational blog. It will have remarks and thoughts, photos of me and my friends, and other such things. My weight loss and personal fitness blog is on Livejournal, if you want the info let me know.

I will do my best to also toss in what I am currently listening to, and if you want to share some music if you have the same taste or want to branch out, that's fine too.

So, this was number one and the intro, hopefully tomorrow will have some fun and interesting things to go one.

Oh, please comment and show some love :)

-Undergrad commencement, I cant wait till I get my graduate hood!